#something that had been ongoing for years but
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"I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this"
Some people think Galadriel has now overcome her "bad boy phase" and can move on with no internal struggle. But TROP made Galadriel's desire for Sauron a symbol of her desire for power. By ignoring Galadriel's ongoing temptation, people end up ignoring what makes Galadriel who she isâa character constantly fighting and taming the desires of her own heart.
Galadriel didn't hear Diarmid's advice to Sauron in 2x01 about choosing good each day but that's what she does. She chooses good even when her very heart greatly desires something else. The choosing didn't eliminate the desire. It just makes Galadriel a very strong person to want something and deny herself for 3000 years.
The most famous Galadriel scene happens 3000 years post-TROP. Sauron has been haunting the edges of Galadriel's heart for millennia when Frodo offers her the One Ring. Galadriel sees the One Ring that represents Sauron and tells Frodo that her heart has greatly desired it and she uses Sauron's words throughout.
"Has greatly desired" a phrasing that implies a current ongoing state. Galadriel isn't saying "I had desired." Her desire is stated in the present perfect tense.
Just because she fights her temptation for 3000 years and wins doesn't mean her desire has gone or that it isn't a hard won victory every time. Her internal victory wouldn't mean anything if the temptation wasn't real and an ever-present danger, and if the desire wasn't real.
Sauron is representational of a key part of Galadriel's identity and struggle on TROP. Whatever else Galadriel does, he's there, haunting her with what he offers. She denies the desires of her very heart (which really is her denying and overcoming herself).
#galadriel#the rings of power#trop#haladriel#saurondriel#people ignoring what the mirror of galadriel means when that is THE galadriel scene.#the encapsulation of the main theme in galadriel's story
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I want to talk about Jaster. Like many among us I knew him first through fic, and he fulfills some very specific roles there. This is cool. I like fic!Jaster and I like those fics. But as this is not a fic, and as we all know misinformation is the death of democracy, I want to draw attention to a couple of things from the only source he actually appears in (andis his original appearance).
One is the general idea of Jaster being the Mand'alor, rightful king of Mandalore, basically Arathorn to Jango's Aragorn or whatever. So, uh. These continuities really do barely mesh, but at his inception, Jaster was the leader of a militia- a mercenary army. They called themselves The Mandalorians (the 'True' bit was added later). There was a leadership challenge and a split, which is where Deathwatch comes from. Deathwatch wanted to do straight conquest instead.
Jaster's previous job had been law enforcement on Concord Dawn. And look, I refuse to read the traviss book, so anything introduced there could prove me wrong and I don't care. But it doesn't really seem like Jaster was ever in the actual government- or for that matter trying to be.
As an aside I just want to note that the darksaber at this time was probably in the hands of Tor Vizla. I think it was Tor Vizla. The Vizla that challenged Jaster for control of the militia and then formed deathwatch, anyway. If the darksaber means something.
It's an interesting trend that fanfic so often has him claiming a throne and at the head of an empire, because that's⌠what the deathwatch split was about. Power and conquest was what they wanted.
The main thing about the Jaster of the comic though, is the nature of his work. There are mercernary militaries in today's world, and they're generally considered bad fucking news. But Jaster is fictional, so why can't he occupy an idealized role? This is the quote at the top of his wookiepedia page: "So what's wrong with being a mercenary? Is your war worth fighting? If it is, then why does it matter who fights it for you? Aren't we imbued with the righteousness of your cause when we take up arms for you? Would you rather your own men and women died to make the point? And if your war is so noble, so necessaryâwhy aren't you fighting it for yourself? Think of all that before you spit on us, aruetii."
That doesn't sound so bad, right? But weirdly enough, that's nothing like what he's shown actually doing. Actually the canon is surprisingly realistic about what being weapons for hire actually looks like, as we're given two 'slice of life' missions to serve as backdrop for his ongoing conflict with deathwatch.
They involve working for corrupt governments to supress "poorly armed natives" and "political activists". I am not using scarequotes, those are direct quotes. There is no suggestion of taking prisoners- they are there to kill, and that's what they do. They are not fighting armies. They are not choosy about their clients. They take easy credits for killing natives with less equipment and training than them.
I guess this is barely on topic since I'm not even making this into a case about why he shouldn't rule mandalore. I just know that while many of us have watched the clone wars and therefore at least know Satine through the show, Jaster is a hazier figure.
There are a few other misconceptions. The True Mandalorians are generally depicted as diverse in fic, for example, but that is a fanon addition to the lore, originally his whole gang (except for jango) were drawn as white men. There's also the whole thing about valuing children- there's no suggestion that he doesn't, mind, but his version of correct child rearing certainly does not match everyone else's values. I've read umpteen fics where he's appalled by padawan endangerment, for example, but uhhh he was sending Jango into combat as an 8(? i am told) year old.
So those are the main fandom misconceptions that come to mind for Jaster.
I could probably write an essay on why I would choose Satine and why she did a better job. Maybe I will. But for now I'm going to leave it at this: ultimately, he was murdered by deathwatch. And ultimately she was murdered by deathwatch. Same foe, different decade.
So maybe the idea that he would have saved mandalore where she couldn't is some sort of easily demonstrable wishful thinking. Since they met the same fate and lost to the same group of guys.
FINALE - You might want to read the propaganda this time. Lots of misinfo in fandom on these two in particular.
Remember, this is NOT about who would win in a fight. This is about who makes the best leader for Mandalore as a whole.
Explanation post
Seeding
More propaganda below the cut! You can submit more on this post and I will reblog it back to here!
Yes, I will even reblog the stuff based on fanon, but I will judge you for it.
SATINE KRYZE
Anon: Satine because she served. Mandalorian fashion week would love her. Manda'slay.
Anon: Satine Propaganda: Was supported by the STRONG MAJORITY, led Mandalore to be in peace for NEARLY 20 YEARS, didn't ban mando'a or armour or any part of the culture like fandom claims, is a good fighter, considered EVERY Mandalorian a Mandalorian and didn't discriminate
@lightsaberwieldingdalek: Satine propaganda: she actually ran a functioning government. Not a mercenary band, or a death cult, or a terrorist extremist organisation, an actual functioning government. Yes there was corruption, corruption she did her best to stop to the point of personally getting in firefights with smugglers, but she took a planet devastated by civil war and by the end of her rule she had schools, public works, and a justice system. - Sure, the rest can run military operations (and we donât know Satine couldnât, only that she *wonât*) but can they make the bins get emptied regularly to go to the recycling plants?
@lightsaberwieldingdalek: I understand Jaster has the tacticool appeal, and has the iconic armour, but guys. He did an interpretation of some problematic historical values for the more modern day, led a mercenary band, and under unknown circumstances his group started calling him the historical-cultural title of the ruler of their entire cultural group. I know heâs cool looking, and shoots real good, but at most heâs the equivalent of someone who could be a cult leader but doesnât want to be. - Meanwhile. Satine. You have issues with her ethical code, and sheâs not a cool cause she doesnât wear the armour. And yet she is the one who *actually ran mandalore*. For 20-ish years, and not only kept it stable but built it up from the ruins of civil war! - Yes yes T-helmet cool and military man competence nice, but that cannot equal taking the ruins of a war torn society and turning it into a mostly peaceful (when terrorism happened it was a big shocking deal, not normalised) urbanised people who eat well, have access to luxury and specialised education (get a offworld Jedi to come lecture) and can ACTUALLY BREATH IN THE ATMOSPHERE RUINED BY ALL THE WARLORDS LIKE JASTER TRYING TO FIGHT THE REPUBLIC TO PROVE THEMSELVES.
Anon: Satine propaganda: she knows what the aftermath of war is like. Jaster knows war from a soldier's perspective, a commander's perspective. But Satine knows it from a noncombatant's perspective. She's seen the aftermath and wreckage it leaves behind. Rebuilding after a war takes far longer and likely costs more than the war itself. I don't think Jaster cares about what happens after the battle. But Satine most certainly does.
@archangelsunited: Efficient and long lasting leader of her faction for years, was able to navigate neutrality with the Republic during the Clone Wars. Excellent Hair pieces.
@publiusmaximum: She allowed her society to experience it's first moment of peace and prosperity in a thousand years. - After she was killed, her society was taken over by fascists and gangsters. In short order Mandalore was razed, made uninhabitable, and her people scattered. - Satine was right about everything.
JASTER MEREEL
Anon: Jaster is the one who should rule Mandalore and all Mandalorians, although he started small he searched to make a new code of conduct for Mandalorian bounty hunters, he tries to keep the culture intact yet keep Mandalore progressive and not stuck in the past and from killing each other.
@spacetime1969: He literally rewrote what it means to be Mandalorian, and he created an entire movement around said philosophy that had a good chance of becoming the controlling party of Mandalore if he hadn't been assassinated. What more do you want?
Anon: Jaster for the win, he's the most recent one who actually knows some shit (as much as I love Din Djarin this poor man doesn't know ANYTHING), besides Jango and Boba but they're both very unstable individuals.
@nerdpickle: Jaster, his philosophy perfectly balanced tradition and reform, keeping the best of both worlds, he was also one of the few people chosen by the people
Mereel is a strong and powerful leader. He defeated the traiter Tor Viszla in battle and even took in a poor, orphaned Concordian child after the battle. No more will Mandalore be forced to consider such petty ideals as peace in order to avoid outright war. Instead, we shall be known throughout the galaxy as the greatest mercenaries the galaxy has ever known. Under his rule, we shall triumph over the foolish savages of planets unconquered and be paid handsomely for it!
Anon: Mereel is a strong and powerful leader. He defeated the traiter Tor Viszla in battle and even took in a poor, orphaned Concordian child after the battle. No more will Mandalore be forced to consider such petty ideals as peace in order to avoid outright war. Instead, we shall be known throughout the galaxy as the greatest mercenaries the galaxy has ever known. Under his rule, we shall triumph over the foolish savages of planets unconquered and be paid handsomely for it!
@archangelsunited: Had a structured document for Mandalorian Culture in the modern (tm) day. He fought with the warriors he sent out and took personal interest in the results of his actions (Jango Fett mentorship). Pissed off Tor Vizla.
@nerdpickle: Satineâs Mandalore was like Switzerland, except without the well trained military, incredibly advantageous terrain, high gun ownership and giant nuclear armed alliance providing a free buffer zone on all sides.
SATINE
@bosooka: Originally here
i wrote way too much for my original draft of this (and it turned into a "fuck jaster mereel" party) so here's an abbreviated version
Why Satine is a Better Ruler Than Jaster in 2 Simple Points
Point #1: Satine actually maintained order on Mandalore for decades
This one is simple. Mereel became Mandalore in ~60BBY and Tor Vizsla tried to overthrow him a mere two years later (and nearly succeeded). He was only in power for six more years before he was betrayed by the very same violent people he allowed to remain by his side because of his belief that a Mandalorian warrior was "merely a highly-paid soldier".
Contrast Satine: ruled from approx. 42BBY until 19BBY, a reign of 23-odd years. For twenty-odd years of her reign New Mandalore was completely peaceful and there were no challengers to her authority among the people or elsewhere. Death Watch only became an issue again when they received Separatist (and ultimately Sith) backing, and Dooku discarded them for being useless. Had Death Watch not allied itself with Maul's Shadow Collective I don't think she would have been overthrown at all.
Point #2: Satine kept Mandalore out of places it didn't belong
As we've established, Mereel had no issues with Mandalorians being mercenaries, used however their clients saw fit. I won't go into the weeds of the ethical implications of mercenaries and why they are illegal under international law on Earth, but in short: letting anyone pay one to kill others is the easiest way to become the cudgel of a fascist. Coincidentally exactly what the Fett clones become when Sidious uses them to exterminate the Jedi. Mereel's "reforms" of the Mandalorian ways did not prevent his troops from getting into a fight they couldn't win against the Jedi on Galidraan (and yes, the Mandalorians shot first:
not that anyone in the fandom remembers this...) after they but an insurrection down on behalf of the corrupt governor of the planet. To be clear, the True Mandos knew that the governor of Galidraan was corrupt and most likely harboring Tor Vizsla, but they still agreed to kill "insurrectionists" for money. Their problems came when Death Watch arranged to make it look like they had also killed women and children. Truly a war between saints and monsters.
Meanwhile Satine: the head of the Council of Neutral Systems, she refused to take sides in a war pushed by the greedy and violent. Yes, she was briefly protected by clones when it comes to light that Death Watch is aligned with the Separatists, but it was immediately followed by the Republic attempting to militarily occupy Mandalore and Satine risking life and limb to keep her people autonomous. Satine refused to become a useful idiot for warmongers, even knowing that it would have been economically advantageous for her to do so. Unlike Jaster Mereel, she has ideals that she values more than credits. He would have accepted an offer from the highest bidder and turned Mandalore into a machine of war for the Sith, just like his Crusader ancestors once did.
Tl;Dr
Satine was actually respected as an authority on Mandalore for literal decades and was only challenged by a miniscule faction of terrorists who had to get foreigners to interfere in their political processes (FML) in order to actually take power from her
Satine kept Mandalore out of conflicts it did not belong in, which largely protected it from military occupation and destruction until the year she died; Mereel made a career out of interfering in the affairs of other planets if they were paid to do so
Unlike Mereel and his successor, Satine had morals to motivate her decisions that were not the pursuit of cold hard cash, including the protection of Mandalorian independence and neutrality
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PRICE OF FAME | MYG â
CH. 2 TEASER
⧠PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader
⧠SUMMARY: You were about ready to give up, your career nowhere near what you dreamed itâd be when you started at eighteen, bright-eyed and naive. Reality for you these past few years has consisted of pouting at a camera, ignoring whispers of your name at company events, and ensuring that the stupid, tiny designer purses they keep forcing on you can at least carry a flask. But now, youâre helping a friend in need. For the first time in a long time, it feels like youâre doing something worthwhile with your life. Too bad Min Yoongi, the newest thorn in your side, seems insistent on stopping you. ă series masterlist ă
⧠TEASER WARNINGS: none!
⧠AUTHOR'S NOTE: ask and you shall receive! i still don't have a set drop date for this chapter, but i wanted to post this short teaser for y'all anyway since you've been waiting so patiently. i am so thankful for all of the love i'm getting for this series already!!! chapter one is almost at 500 notes which is SO insane. i get so stupidly giddy every time i receive a reply, reblog, or an ask about this series! feedback and interaction keep me writing and i am so looking forward to what all of you think of this teaser. reminder that you can track the tag 'glossdebut updates' to stay updated on drop dates/word counts/etc.!
P.S. just like with all of my teasers, wording is subject to change when the chapter actually comes out <3
⧠TEASER WORDCOUNT: 481 words
⧠STATUS: ongoing
Yoongi hasnât touched a cigarette since he was twenty one years old.
He picked up the nasty habit at sixteen, when one of his friends doled out African Ice Jacks amongst the group, bragging that his hyung had bought the pack for him. As soon as the lighter was flicked on and the bittersweet taste of bubblegum and tobacco filled Yoongiâs lungs, he was hooked.
It was stupidly easy to get his hands on cigarettes before he was of legal age, even when his friendâs hyung couldnât supply them for whatever reason. All of the adults around him smoked, including his parents.Â
It felt as though cigarettes were an extension of his hand, felt wrong when he didnât have the option to light one up. During school hours, Yoongiâs fingers would twitch on his desk as he waited for his last class to end.
He was a fucking anxious, wound-up kid. Smoking was the only thing that helped, sometimes. If he had a shit day, at least he could have a cigarette.
When the band got signed, though, things changed. Despite the fact that the majority of the population in Korea smoked, celebrities were vilified for it in the media. For whatever fucking reason. Yoongi didnât care much what the media had to say about him, but he reasoned that it would be pretty stupid to let his dream die over Ice Jacks. So he quit.
It was hard at first, but itâs been five years now. After so much time, itâs rare that cigarettes even cross his mind, even when others smoke around him.
Sitting across the table from you now, though, Yoongiâs fingers twitch just like they had when he was in grade school staring at a clock.
He and the band started frequenting Yoojung Sikdang long before there was any real hope for fame. It was their chosen spot after every practice. The ajumma who owns it knows their names, remembers their orders by heart. Over the years, the only part of the restaurant thatâs changed is their autographed photos on the wall. Theyâve celebrated every single milestone here, big or small, just the five of them. Alone.
Wrapping up their first world tour should be no different. Itâs their biggest milestone yet, and all Yoongi wanted was to eat ssambap with his best friends. Remind himself that none of the fame matters as long as they still have this.
But here you are. Of course. Encroaching on everything Yoongiâs built, everything he holds dear to his heart.
The only time itâs ever been more than the five of them here was the night they signed their contract, accompanied by two label executives. Even if youâre allegedly riding Jeonggukâs dick, no way are you that fucking important.
Yoongi would laugh if he wasnât so pissed off. You are such a fucking pest. He just canât shake you off.
⧠TAGLIST: @jajabro @pitchblack0309 @sugar-snap @ot72025 @ktownshizzle
@futuristicenemychaos @tea4sykes @sugainmybowl @namjoonsbuspass @wobblewobble822
@yoongiphoria @ohnothisnameisalreadytaken @this-most-assuredly-counts @sugafun @binniesbabe
@1800lxcifrrr @whoa-jo @amarawayne @kimsaerom @bangtangsworld @angellekookie
@jalexad @tarahardcore @valhallawhispers @chimmisbae @notsevenwithyou
#price of fame#yoongi x reader#yoongi x oc#yoongi x y/n#yoongi x you#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi x oc#min yoongi x you#min yoongi x y/n#suga x reader#suga x oc#suga x y/n#suga x you#yoongi smut#yoongi angst#min yoongi smut#min yoongi angst#suga smut#suga angst#min yoongi fanfic#yoongi fanfic#suga fanfic#min yoongi fanfiction#yoongi fanfiction#suga fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#minors dni#minors do not interact
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this entire year has been flop after flop why am i losing so bad your honor i am literally just some guy
#im yapping u can move on if u dont wanna hear my life story#first i get nuked by stomach pains when i go to visit my friends#something that had been ongoing for years but#my best friend convinces me to see a doctor that year#my condition deteriorates no matter what meds they put me on#i finally get a more invasive exam that shows my intestines were inflamed#i get put on fucking steroids that fuck me up physically and emotionally#i go through multiple med school exams after spending months in crippling pain#pain so bad id be bedridden for hours#got 6 weeks of migraines near daily#sometimes multiple in a day#stressed out of my mind by the time my finals came around to the point that i could no longer bring myself to care#bc i was sure id fail no matter how hard i studied#visit my friends again bc somehow its already winter again#am a nervous wreck all the time and retreat into my phone#but also hate myself for not spending what little time i had fully present#constantly worn out and exhausted bc my meds are barely working#and id found out i was allergic to a lot of things so i was cutting a lot of things out of my diet#lmfao it was so bad my weight still hasnt recovered but yeah i come back i start 3rd year#the toll the last year had taken on my mental health finally registers#i become too depressed to study for my hardest module yet#UGH THATS SO CRINGE JUST SIT DOWN AND STUDY??#but nothing was sticking on god#anyway im sure ive failed#and la salud mental no es bien or soemthing idk i havent taken spanish in 3 years#anyway deep sigh i just stay losing#i cant believe im in like four fucking research projects and classes and trying to work on myself this shit sucks balls#and clinical rotations...#lord just strike me down
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Suddenly hit with the unfortunate realization that I have fallen out of love with Arknights
#not a reblog#arknights#whenever I've talked about it lately it's just been#''oh I still love Arknights of course#but [lists five gazillion problems I have with it#and reasons I have stopped playing]#But I'll at least come back for the Sui events!''#and only now did it occur to me that like#if playing it feels like a chore#and the story feels like a chore#and all the extra modes and features feel like a chore#and none of it is even slightly fun anymore#except for one very specific ongoing storyline#that only comes around once a year#then maybe I don't actually still love it#and it's just sunk-cost fallacy speaking#because I loved what it started out as#but not what it's turned into#i miss when I thought the reunion-vs-rhodes-island plot had something worthwhile to say about oppression#i miss heart of surging flame and grani's treasure#i miss when the gameplay was fun and didn't require surtr or holungday for everything#i miss when nearl was actually cool#i miss when the emphasis was on powerful women#and i miss when CC and SSS and whatever else weren't a thing#modules were the final nail in the coffin though. one thing too many to keep track of#i just miss Arknights#I guess there's still the anime at least#even if it suffers the same story problem of having to relegate the central political themes to subtext to avoid getting in trouble#and the time constraints of eight 20 minute episodes per season to adapt all the bloated textwalls#but still. its something at least
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at the rate this is going I'm seriously debating not even going to the tour
#fio.txt#there's not even europe dates yet obviously but im so done#just the tour? i would have side eyed#but the tour AND A COMEBACK THE MONTH BEFORE#nah#i feel like im turning into a lil hater here and i dont even want that but the concept pics for the cb feel so...uninspired#idk golden hour sounds pretty epic but the pics are pretty bland and boring to me#do something cool and artistic for gods sake take some time to actually get behind a concept then give them time TO PROMOTE AND THEN REST!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!!#and then and THEN you may have them tour again#literally 2026 usa tour would have been more than enough theyve been on tour every single year the past three (four with 2025 ig) and that#is not fucking sustainable#im gonna be really honest here#this ongoing situation with them is a big part of why i was highly kpop critical before i got into it#bc all i had heard was that the idols are pretty much just obects to be marketed and worked to burnout to get the most money possible#out of them#being kind of dehumanised and instead turned into content to be consumed#like they as persons and whatever artistic vision and passions and dreams they might have are secondary to capitalist greed#and that makes me so so sad and also frustrated and i want to rage and throw a few bricks through kq ents windows
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hello sorry if this is really long and tmi but besties i need some advice
#so this isnt what i usually post but#i really need advice bc i genuinely don't know how to go about this#my mom has a track record for saying really offhand things about trans people and their bodies#and at this point with the way she reacts I've learned to just... not say anything#it doesn't matter how gently I try word it I always get the 'i'm an ally and i'm trying and you *know* that i'm doing my best' response#so this weekend she said something about my cousin being 'biologically male' (they're nonbinary) and kinda shut down in the car and didn't#really say anything#she called me the day after to find out what was wrong#and i told her that she was being disrespectful about trans/nonbinary people and that this is an ongoing issue#and she took it very hard and ended the call very abruptly#she then proceeded to text me paragraphs about how good of an ally she is and how i needed to 'cut her more slack' even tho i've been doing#so for years#and she tried to call twice#and i had to set the boundary twice now of 'please don't reach out i'm not ready to talk and i want us to both step back from this and come#back to it later'#and now i'm putting the convo off because#it feels like theres nothing i can say to her that she'll understand/won't get super defensive about#at this point it feels like i've tried to address this problem as best/gently as i can and it's still isn't enough for her#i think she wants me to just forget about it but i don't want to anymore#sorry this was really long lmao#but please#any tips from my queer friends would be sick thank u#it me
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how did sonic superstars get nominated for best family game at the game awards while sonic frontiers, an infinitely better sonic game, got nothing this year or last year aside from the players voice nomination .... also they nominated mario and a few other games for like 500 different categories while only one category had a sonic related thing AND they let genshin impact back in AGAIN........ do you think the game awards are specifically designed to torture sonic fans . whatever sonic frontiers game of the year to ME.
#was sonic superstars let in over sonic frontiers because its classic sonic. be honest#like you couldnt even nominate frontiers for best music ? come on man#and before anyone says that frontiers came out last year so it couldnt have been nominated for anything anyway#games that came out in past years tend to be allowed in anyway if theyve had updates that add new content#i DO think that this rule is unfair in certain cases. but according to their own rules frontiers would be allowed in#and theyre choosing to exclude it Again . come onnn#to be fair i think ge/nshin is only in best ongoing game and nothing else this year#which . yeah it makes sense for the games in best ongoing game to have been out for a little while already#but i still think its unfair that its been out for a few years and won multiple awards in the past and is still being let in#(iirc in 2022 they got nominated for a category that they had already won in 2021 which is like. what. hello)#and before anyone says im just biased against ge/nshin: its not just about ge/nshin#i just dont think games that have already had their chance multiple times and/or have been out for a long time should be allowed in#regardless of how many updates theyve had#like iirc minecraft got nominated for something last year? and i love minecraft but i dont think it should have been allowed in#and fortnite is another one of those games that keeps getting nominated for stuff over and over again i think#like that game came out in 2017 and youre still nominating it for stuff ?? idc that its still ongoing you should focus on newer games
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Iâm always paranoid of my tumblr being deleted or malfunctioning or something like that someday, so hereâs other places to find me/follow me, just in case lol
~ instagram -Â https://www.instagram.com/lucalicatte/
~ main youtube -Â https://www.youtube.com/c/LucaLiCatte
~ games/sims youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@cloudycatte
~ facebook page (I rarely use this because I hate facebook but.. it at least allows text posts better than instagram does, so idk maybe Iâd use it more if tumblr went away? lol) -Â https://www.facebook.com/cloudycatteart/
~ Other Links (stuff I donât use often/isnât Main enough to list here, like twitter, neopets, other tumblr sideblogs, youtube channels, etc.) are here - http://icewindandboringhorror.tumblr.com/otherlinks )
#An updated version of this since some of the links on the old one are no longer the same lol#I might make a website website one day (not with a custom domain since I'm not paying for that/dont have the money lol#but like a 'my name.weebly.com type thing lol) but I haven't had the time recently. If I ever get around to it I'll update the post and#reblog that version. ANYWAY.. I just like to have one of these written out to reblog every once in a while. During the once ever few months#when poeple are like 'tumblr is failing again! it wont survive!' which has happened like 80 times but I'm still always like :0c what if!#also love the ms paint art done with a mouse ghhj#ANYWAY.. also if you want to see the stinky game I made that's not actually related to my own worldbuilding really (why I have never#posted anything about it publilcy because it's like.. how do I talk about it lol) I have my itch.io linked in the 'other links' page#as well as my General Projects blog. which talks about all the ongoing and upcoming projects I want to do that are#actually set in my world and can give you previews of some of the things I'm working on. Currently resuming my Game after abandoning it#basically for the entire pandemic and a little before that - as mentioned before - so that's OUgh.. in terms of A Lot Of Work#Especially since while kind of 'revamping and updating' I want to add a few features which are mostly easy but every once in a while#I don't understand something and it's like....... hGGhh...... Ironically despite Blogging I just hate talking to people in public open foru#.. I love privacy and security lol.. and I always feel that ONE day I am going to have a question that has not already been asked on a foru#somewhere and I am going to have to post myself and.. no.. I shan't even imagine it.. It's not even really social anxiety it's just like..#efficiency.. instead of wating like days to get an accurate response and resolve the problem with the general public I would rather just ha#e a one time 30min conversation with an expert and resolve it quickly. PLUS then I also only interact with One stranger instead of Many Of#Them lol.. any 6+ yrs of experience Ren'py experts hmu so I can pay you like $50 to have a single 45min conversation#with me over an insanely simple question and then never talk to you again until a year later when I have a second question. hhjb#ANYWAY.. I still really don't like instagram or it's layout and I never understood how it works like.. if I should be tagging photos or wha#or how you really use it and I just... euGH... stimky.. but it is one of the most popular so I feel obligated to link it. I wish facebook w#sn't such a nasty poo poo because I do actually like the variety of posts you can make and how Pages on facebook operate. In the scense of#it being similar to tumblr that you can make a VARIETy of styles of post. not just Only Post Photos or Only Short Text or Only Video which#is still like.. how the funk does sutff like that even get popular lol.. the Limited nature.. hewwo.. but alas.. and NO way I'm touching#fucking Threads please do not make an account on there and don't let your friends do it and don't let that shit catch on lol.#BUT YEahg... links...... just in case.. i hope tumblr stays aroundin it's current format forever though lol..#I'm pretty sure even facebook doesn't have audio posts. or tags the way this does. or CHRONOLOGICAL FEED. custom html for pages.. aaaaa
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i hate hanging out with kids because of the way people treat kids and the social rules surrounding speaking out when you don't like how a kid is being treated. like, if you're hanging out with a group of adults and one of the adults is cruel to another, there are many ways to say, "hey, don't treat them like that." or you can even ignore that person and tell the person who was wronged, "i can't believe they were so cruel to you." but with kids you're really not supposed to say anything at all unless it's your kid. and it's crazy because the stakes are so much higher. an adult being treated cruelly has so much more agency. they can leave, they can speak up and probably be listened to, they can be cruel back and not immediately be vilified. a kid usually just has to endure it. and judging by personal experience they don't even internalise it as "that person is cruel" it's more like "this is normal treatment."
#it's such a minor example but last time i saw my babiest cousin he had a messy nose so i grabbed a kleenex#and everybody said 'ohh he hates when you wipe his nose' but then i did it and he just rolled with it#and everyone was like 'wow so weird!' and then i became the nose wiper for the next few hours#and it was kind of an ongoing puzzle that he'd just let me swipe at his face repeatedly#then i saw someone else do it and realised what it is is he doesn't like it when someone scrubs the fuck out of his face#which i can personally relate to quite a lot#so i said 'oh that's what it is i'm just way gentler with the tissue'#and i got a dirty look and an awkward pause âšď¸#like every time i go hang out with him there's always something like that where i feel like i'm pissing everyone off by having an opinion#meanwhile these same people keep rapists around like it's nothing#i got invited to see the baby this weekend and i don't even know if i should#i love him but the older he gets the more moments of đ¨ i'll experience#and judging by experiences with my now-teenage cousins it will only get worse and even more high stakes#it was miserable finding out my 16 year old high school dropout cousin was astronomically high every day and had been for six months#and no one else really thought much of it at all#i hate this fucking family :'(#adam yaps
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Are you working on any fics that you're really excited about?
i am not ACTIVELY working on any fics at this time, but in the fall i was working on my taste your beating heart companion fic from derek's POV. my goal was not for it to be super long...my original plan was 20k to 30k, but so far the fic is at 5k and i've only just??? about reached the end of ch1 of the OG fic lol. though to be fair, the first 4k is showing what derek was doing BEFORE the story starts in TYBH so maybe it'll work out in the end.
i was working on it a decent amount in the fall and then i did my 2+ week trip to asia and then got pick pocketed at the coffee shop i had taken to writing in so that kind of derailed my motivation/inspiration haha
â¨sleepover saturdayâ¨
#ask#machtaholic#it's fun to write derek#and i was having fun writing the start bc he knows more about supernatural customs and norms etc#who knows when or if ever i'll finish this fic#i finished TYBH in nov 2019#and had the idea for this companion fic while writing the end of that fic#(bc there's a scene in the climax of the fic where stiles sees but does not hear derek say something to someone)#(and i made a note of what he said and thought it might be fun to write derek's POV one day)#anyway my point is: it took 7 years from when i first started TYBH to when i finished it#and now it's been 4+ years of this fic being on my mind and having an ongoing wip lol
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if thereâs one thing abt staying up rlly late itâs that it gives u the best lore-dreams
#the girl i met there was cool#there was this weird room that wanted to kill u and i think she was born there (her mother went in there when she was pregnant ig)#i think she had some sorta magic healing powers but they werenât always perfect (eg. her legs never fully healed so she canât walk much)#and also i think the room could change sizes or smthn but that mightâve just been typical dream continuity#i think i wanted to leave it#and also there was this creature that came every once in a while and it left something behind i think (maybe human or animal corpses? idk)#i think we managed to find a way to leave but for some reason she couldnt#also not sure how she nd her mother managed to be in there for 16(?) years since i barely survived 3 days#but idk maybe it had smthn to do with her powers#i think by the end i was able to leave and i could text her from outside the room and so could other ppl and the plot was still ongoing#there was also a young boy there that my brain 1000% based off young adam from the adam project#also for some reason my bsf his brother and his mother were there at a bit#and his brother had aids for some reason and she was mad abt it (idk)#wish i could remember more of the dream cause it was pretty cool#i need to name the girl#i remember she was pretty pale with big brown eyes and red hair#and by red i mean red red not ginger#she was also relatively skinny nd cis#and also her legs didnât work the best and i canât remember what it was but there was smthn different about what she had to eat#maybe she counted as a creature from the room idk#i loved her tho#dreams#ryan shut the fuck up
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wish I could have a therapist or whatever the fuck to talk to about whatever goes on in my head
i feel like if i talked about any of it ppl would definitely think im too weird even moots
#how do you explain youve had a specific daydream scenario thats been ongoing for the past 20 years#without people going 'oh there is definitely something WRONG (BAD) with you'#talked about to exactly one person before and the term they used for it i looked up and it didnt fit at all#rue postings
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still relationship ranting forgive me (it's all positive, more or less?)
it's also why it is really funny to me that people constantly talk about like 'i want to be in a relationship but i don't want [one specific part]' and it's like
you can just... you can just NOT do that part, then.
you can NOT cohabitate, if you think living with someone would take away your comfort with your living situation. you can not have sex if you don't want to have sex. you can use or not use any label, you can use or not use any terms of affection, you can choose your level of consistent contact you can choose your level of physical affection you can choose whether you want to make any long-term decisions like pets or marriage or children. you can choose whether you want to be exclusive or monogamous, you can choose whether you have multiple people involved, you can choose whether you make plans now or talk it out later, you can have an ongoing, long-term conversation where you check in periodically to see if anything has changed or if you want to change something.
like! i know the cishets tell us 'you fall in love with ONE person and you will KNOW when you are in love and you will ONLY ever love them FOREVER unless you FALL OUT OF LOVE and then you will be DOOMED TO A TRAGIC BREAKUP OR CHEATING'
but like in my personal experience... it's more like.... 'you will meet someone and you will feel like you are really connected to them and you get along well and you are attracted to them. you can then either nurture that feeling by spending more time together and testing out whether your initial connection is sustainable or you can let it pass through you and simply let things go wherever they go. then you can tell them how you feel, talk about what you think you'd like or not like, decide whether you want to prioritize your relationship and your time together over other, more casual connections in your life, and try it out. and you can talk about this any time something feels off. and you're not going to fall out of love spontaneously and for no reason when you were happy before; most of the time you'll notice that there's more distance between you and you're not as close or communicative as you were previously pretty early along that path. and you can THEN decide whether you want to say 'hey let's do more things together to help us bond and feel close and open up to each other' or you can say 'i think we've probably changed in a way where we're no longer on the same page with our relationship, do you want to figure out what we both need and adjust accordingly?'
which is like. it sounds so sterile and clinical but it's actually GREAT? feelings aren't this great big overpowering beast that you cannot wrangle; love is not a thing that will just spontaneously stop one day despite your desperate desire to still feel it. the more time you spend with someone and the more you support each other, the closer you will feel. the less time you spend and the less you support each other's needs, the further you will drift. you can 100% grow that garden to your own specifications and you can simply choose not to include sex or cohabitation or monogamy or labels or WHATEVER else and it's great because it's YOUR garden.
there is no one hard definition for any relationship and there is no one specific way to have a relationship. it's literally just seeing what feels right and then describing it in whatever terms feel right.
#like idk sometimes i think i sound incomprehensible#but also i've been with one partner for 13 years now and we have changed IMMENSELY as people#and every time there were points where we didn't feel close or comfortable we just like#figured out what we needed or wanted and talked about how to do it best#and the entire reason i'm with my other partner to begin with#is that he and i have REMARKABLY similar feelings about relationships and we could have a long ongoing conversation about comfort levels-#and boundaries and what he wanted out of a relationship#and that lack of pressure let him actually feel comfortable enough with me to explore relationship aspects he had felt super uncomfortable#with previously#and also the entire conversation is STILL ONGOING and Will be In Perpetuity#there might come a time when he wants to change something or he no longer wants the same things out of a relationship!#there might come a time when he needs to pull back and can't give as much time or emotional closeness!#i don't think he has to Love Me Forever but as long as he WANTS to do this and feels GOOD doing it then#i'm enjoying myself!#and if there comes a point where he doesn't we can figure out what to do#maybe we'll just need to redefine things or maybe we'll need to change something like how much time we spend together#or maybe he'll need something from someone who isn't me or maybe he'll find#that he grows close to someone else and is more comfortable in a monogamous relationship with THEM#it's fine? it's not a worry because i trust him to tell me#i like him and i know he cares about me enough to communicate and to check in#god it's 5pm and i'm ranting again#slaps my hands off the keyboard#anyways love is actually great and good and fun and if you find a person who communicates and works well with you#then you'll figure it out together#it may take time but you'll figure it out!#loong post#long post#long tags#personal#relationships
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Local craft place is doing a pottery wheel session (like you can go and theyâll teach you how to make something) that is in my budget, outside of my work hours, and 2 days before my birthday, so Iâve officially figured out what this yearâs âbirthday present to myselfâ is gonna be lol
Their art classes always look so fun but usually are either a few weeks long and therefore out of my budget, or itâs a one-off class I might be able to afford but it falls during my work hours. Itâll be so fun to finally attend one!
#there were a solid several years when my birthday made me really depressed#just had some various unrelated bad associations with it#so the past few years I kind of unofficially decided to do a nice thing for it each year#since i don't really organize a party or expect gifts from anyone#(though my mom almost always gets me something even if it's just money)#(and my best friend has gotten me gifts the past couple years which is really nice)#Kinda try to rewire the negative associations#And it's working so far! Really well actually!#I've bought a cookie cake for myself each year ever since like high school#but the past two years I got myself minecraft in 2021 and then a guitar last year#And it's helped the negative stuff a LOT#because those are like lasting things#playing Minecraft has become one of my favorite comforts#and learning guitar has been really fun#and both are ongoing parts of my life I will always associate with my birthday now#Sorry I'm rambling again lol#anyway I'm hacking my brain and it's fun#lee speaks
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iâd like to go to the doctors actually but iâm genuinely worried theyâre going to think iâm either a hypochondriac or just really lonely because iâve been going so much and get all angry at me
#like it seems like iâve been a lot anyways#but maybe thatâs because i hardly ever went for the first 19 years of my life because they treated me so bad???#or maybe i have been going a lot???#or both???#but like every 2 months iâm like iâm back with a completely different issue#ah yes iâve figured out the last problem now weâre passed that#hereâs this new thing#at one point i went in for an appointment and the dr was like iâll give you a blood test#and i had to go no need i had one 20 minutes ago for a different dr i saw last week about something different#would have tested the same things though#is this all in my head#do they judge you for going that much???#for different issues not just an ongoing thing???#i talk and its probably something weird
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